Thursday, January 29, 2015

September 11th...the day MY world stopped for a bit

Thursday, September 11th
 (rue at joy school the day before)

I had a doctor’s appointment at 10:00am.  Brittany was going to watch the girls while I went.  I dropped them off and headed to my appointment.  Last week I was only dilated to a 1.  Dr. Oehler had said I was not close and to probably plan on going all the way to the end.  She only works at the hospital certain days so we were talking about inducing the day after my due date if I had made progress.  I was hoping I had so we could go ahead and set that up.  I’ve never wanted to be induced, but I was REALLY wanting this to be done.  It is really quite miserable to be pregnant during the summer.  I got in and she checked me.  I was actually dilated to a three.  She was impressed.  We went ahead and set up with the hospital to induce on the 16th (a Thursday).  Because I had progressed she asked if I wanted to have my membranes stripped.  Of course I wanted to get things progressing.  She joked that she had a lady yesterday at a three who had her membranes stripped and then delivered that morning at 3am.  Oehler joked that it could happen again.  Honestly, I had very little hope of that.  Mentally I have prepped and prepared to go all the way.  At least I now had an end date of the 16th.  I left the appointment, got gas, and got a call from Andrea.  She was wanted to do some decorating in her kitchen.  We chatted about decorating ideas and I told her how the appointment had gone.  I had a few little contractions, but that’s very normal for me. Hurried to pick up the kids and head home.  Mom was coming out spend the morning with Grandma and then come help me.  She was bringing out stuff to stay the night just in case.  I worried it would jinx things for her to plan on staying, but oh well.  I needed all the help I could get.  The girls must have known I was wearing out.  They just could NOT get along.  It had been a very hard few days.  We got back to the house and I made lunch.  While picking up the girls I started having contractions again.  They were pretty good contractions driving home and I’ve decided, I do not like driving while having contractions.  With lunch made, we sat down to eat.  I heard from mom that she would be coming in an hour.  The contractions got closer together and pretty hard.  I left the room and went in my room so the kids wouldn’t see me hurting.  Just before mom got there it got really uncomfortable.  I was sitting on the couch crying and the girls were rather concerned.  It was awful.  I couldn’t take care of them, and yet they were very in my face.  Mom came, I couldn’t even get up to get the door.  Thank goodness for Ada.  She came in and seeing me expressed concern.  She told me to call Keith to come home and just go to the hospital.  I started timing them.  I told her if it kept up for another 10 minutes I would.  I texted Keith to give him a heads up.  I didn’t want to tell him to come home and then have it not happen and have wasted the time.  The contractions did ease up and grew farther apart.  They never stopped, but did slow down.  Mom sat down and explained to Ada a little what was going on.  Ada is a very concerned person when it comes to pain/doctors/injuries.  She was very anxious about what was wrong with me.  Glad mom was able to talk with her while I calmed down.  Then we got to work.  I’d bought fabric to finally make curtains for our back French doors.  I wanted to get them going with mom’s help.  It was SO nice to have her here helping with the kids when I just didn’t have the energy for it.  We got the curtain all cut out and started sewing them together.  Then we canned the last of my peaches and got dinner going.  We had finally gotten a few eggs from our chickens (their first ones) so we decided to have a fun waffle and egg dinner.  Mom was so helpful and just took over with the girls.  They had been especially challenging this week and I was beyond grateful to have her take charge of them.  Keith came home at his regular time and we had dinner.  Mom suggested I go lay down for a bit.  I laid down, but I couldn’t sleep.  I just had too much going through my head.  It was nice to lay down and rest though.  After a bit I got up.  Keith and mom had finished the peaches and dishes.  Mom then suggested we go walk around and try to get things going.  I’d had contractions off and on ALL day.  They never stopped, but would slow down and pick up.  Nothing was consistent.  We decided to load everything up for the hospital and take it with us just in case we got lucky.  

(I took this while Keith packed up the car, my last picture of Peter on the inside)

Honestly, I really didn’t want to be around people.  Not really fun to labor in front of strangers.   We went to Home Depot (Keith wanted to price some stuff).  We were there for a bit and then Keith said I could pick the next store to walk around.  We went to Target on 7th and Bell.  We walked around just looking.  My lower back was starting to ache and all I wanted to do was sit.  The contractions lessened even more while in Target and spaced far apart.  I felt discouraged and just tired of trying.  I just wanted to go home, watch a movie and go to bed.  I don’t have babies early!  Feeling sad, Keith suggested we stop and get a treat.  We went to Jack in the Box and got milkshakes.  We got home a little after 9pm.  Mom had gotten the girls to bed and was just putting on the movie Life of Pi.  I’d rented it from the library and none of us had seen it.  The credits were just starting and mom got a phone call and stepped out of the room.  The movie was just starting when out of nowhere I got a MASSIVE contraction.  Less than 2 minutes another.  These were real, hard, tearful contractions and then were very close together.  Mom came back in and after seeing a few told us we needed to go now.  Awfulness getting to the car.  Keith was a little stressed out because they weren’t even 2 minutes apart now.  The hospital (Banner Thunderbird) was only 10 minutes away.  In that ten minutes things again slowed down.  I was so frustrated.  We pulled in and headed to the maternity ward.  They were very slow and seemed like they were surprised to have someone come in and all “uh…where should we have her go? Are you in labor?”  It was a tad annoying.  Keith wasn’t allowed back in the room while they had me change.  He was told to go park the car while they had me weigh in and get changed.  He made it back just as they were asking me to get a urine sample.  SERIOUSLY?!  Never had to do that before.  I wanted to get the IV hooked up fast so I could get the epidural.  I go into the tiny bathroom and the toilet looked like one of those ones you would see in a day care for the little kids.  Again, SERIOUSLY?  I felt like crap and having HARD contractions again pretty close.  I could barely get down to the dumb toilet!  Curse you tiny toilet!!!!  Finally finished that and got back in the room to the bed.  Then for some dumb reason we sat there alone for like FOREVER….or at least it felt that way.  It had to be at least 10 minutes.  FINALLy someone came in and started asking me a bunch of quesionts.  Still NO iv at that point.  I was getting a bit frantic and the contractions were getting quite intense and I was struggling.  At last an older lady nurse came in to start the IV.  I think that older ladies should not be allowed to give IV for laboring women.  She couldn’t get it in and finally gave up and tried in a different spot.  So now labor was awful and my arm was killing from tons of jabs and fishing around.  FINALLY got that set up and they left again to go find a wheelchair.  Another 5 minutes passed and they showed up.  They got me into the wheelchair and headed out.  My BIGGEST complaint about Thunderbird was this portion.  They wheel you THROUGH the hospital to a normal person elevator to go to the next floor where the delivery rooms were.  So I’m in hard core crappy labor stuck in an elevator with other random people.  Who the heck thought that was a good idea?  NOT a woman who has given birth!!!!  We made it up and the new nurse (delivery nurse) was happy and kind.  She kept telling me, “you are doing it just right.”  It was a very nice thing to say and I appreciated the confirmation that I was doing thins right.  She told me if I keep my arm straight it will make the IV go faster (why did no one say that downstairs?).  The person to do the epidural was waiting outside my door until I had enough of the IV in.  Labor was pretty awful and I was feeling a bit stressed about getting some relief.  They finally said I had enough of the IV and she came in to get started.  Both ladies (nurse and epidural lady) were so nice and compassionate.  They took the bottom of the bed off and asked me to sit up so they could put the catheter for the epidural in.  I had a few really hard contractions and then they told me to lean forward.  I could feel pressure and couldn’t get my body to lean forward.  It just didn’t feel right.  The nurse said something like “if you don’t lean forward you can’t get the epidural.”  I knew it was close and soon it would get really bad.  I WANTED relief from the pain and leaned over as best I could.  It just felt different, like something was in the way…like a baby.  It was very uncomfortable and I had a few contractions there.  She finally got it in and tapped and told me to lay back and they could get it turned on.  I started to scoot back on the bed (you have to be sitting with your legs off the side of the bed to get the epidural) and suddenly all I could think was “I need to push.”  The pressure was there and I voiced the desire of my body.  The nurse said to lay back and she would check me (they had not checked my progress since I came in which was a 6).  I kept saying I need to push, she kept saying lay back and I can check you.  The anesthesiologist was trying to get the machine ready to give me medicine.  I was somewhere between sitting and on my side when I lost control.  It came on SO quick and suddenly I was screaming and it was just craziness.  The nurse is trying to help me lay on my back, the anesthesiologist keeps saying “I can’t hear over her” and Keith basically looked freaked out.  It felt totally out of body, I could hear myself screaming, but could NOT get it to stop.  I remember even thinking “stop screaming.”  Keith said something about get a doctor and I think the nurse pushed some button for a doctor or something.  I remember thinking, “oh this my be the ring of fire they talk about” and then I could feel the baby between my legs.  I was still on my side and the nurse was trying to help me get to my back.  As soon as he was out I was back in control and rolled over.  The nurse said something like “oh my gosh there’s a baby, quick get the doctor.”  The end of the bed wasn’t on so the nurse quick grabbed the baby and put him on my chest.  I couldn’t really see him.  I could just see the top of his head.  This was a bit tragic for me as I have a very special image in my memory of both the girls being held up by the doctor and seeing them for the first time.  I couldn’t see anything.  It was chaos as they tried to get me to scoot up and not fall off the bed.  He was still attached to me so they couldn’t do anything but hold us while nurses and doctor came flooding in.  He was born at 11:05pm Thursday September 11th 2014.  

I remember thinking it was SO crazy how out of control I felt and then as SOON as he was out it was me again.  I kept apologizing for screaming and not waiting.  The nurse was so sweet she just joked with me and relieved the stress of the chaos.  The doctor came over and he and Keith took care of the umbilical cord and the took Peter quickly over to the heat lamps.  Keith followed while the doctor took a look at me.  I had a very small tear that he had to stitch.  I never did get the epidural medicine as the baby came out before she could get it turned on.  The doctor had to give me several shots of local anesthesia so he could stitch me up.  The shots were awful, but everything else was fine.  Still had not seen my baby beyond the top of his head.  I actually felt the adrenaline rush and was very alert and aware.  We were all joking about the surprise baby shooting out before the doctor came.  It was weird how alert I felt.  Everything finally slowed down and the doctor and extra nurses left.  I finally got to hold Peter.  It wasn’t the instant “oh this is MY baby.”  I felt like I was still trying to figure out what happened.  And I was still in shock of “YES, I’m not pregnant anymore.”  Poor baby had a very bruised face.  I’d never seen that before, but they said it was probably because he came out so quick.  His nose and cheeks were all bruised.  The nurse left for a little bit and Keith and I were able to admire little man.  

Keith had been updating family.  His parents were on the way to the hospital.  I can’t remember if the nurse helped me to the bathroom before or after his parents came.  I do remember feeling amazingly well though.  I didn’t have the epidural so I felt more in control.  Still wobbily, but my body wasn’t asleep.  I did shake really bad for about a half hour to hour after, but that’s actually been with each of the kids.  His parents brought some food for us (aka Keith, I couldn’t eat yet).  It was very kind of them.  They held the baby and I just relaxed.  Still on an adrenaline rush I wasn’t tired or even in too much pain.  Felt pretty good.  His parents left and we finally made our way to our room.  They play music for you went you enter the maternity ward.  We got to our room.  I was then feeling the pain and very tired.  The nurse was so cute.  She was a little Hispanic lady (my age or younger).  She kept calling me “mamma”.  It was sweet; and she was so tender and compassionate.  I REALLY lucked out with nurses.  LOVED our delivery nurse and then this first nurse.  Just really makes a difference.  They ordered me some food and brought me water and juice.  They put Peter under the heat lamp and he went to bed.  Keith slept and finally around 3 or 4 I fell asleep. 

Peter had eaten really well back in the delivery room and did well again back in the room.  Right from the get go he was fabulous about schedule consistency.  He woke up every three hours and was almost always on the dot.  The nurses were good at bringing in the ice packs and making sure I had medicine.  I actually felt better than I had with Rue.  I had to finish up so many IV things so that was still in and rather uncomfortable.  I got breakfast ordered and was able to answer a few messages on my phone.  I rolled Peter over closer to me so I could see him and hold him.  He was a great eater.  Mom called and said she would arrange to have Brittany pick her up for joy school and then mom and Ada would come visit.  I was a tad anxious to get rid of the IV before they came.  When I had Rue and Ada visited she wouldn’t touch me until they had taken it out.  Luckily they took it out RIGHT before them came.  I did have a little dried blood on my hand and that made Ada stressed.  Mom gave her a wipe and she helped me wipe it off before she sat with me.  She was SO happy to see baby. 

Keith had not planned to be off work yet so he hadn’t taken his work stuff home.  While mom was with me he ran into work to get his stuff and let them know baby was here and start his leave.  It was fun to have just Ada and share with her.  The nurses brought her stickers, juice and crackers.  She thought that was SO cool.  Got some rest and calm time with the baby after that.  That is when I started to feel the attachment.  He was mine and so cute.  He was very chill and just slept or laid there.  He never cried in the hospital.  When he was hungry he would grunt, but I think the only times he cried was when they washed him or when we changed his diaper.  Even then, it wasn’t a scream just a cry.  That night Taylor and Robyn Bryce (Taylor is one of my Valiant girls I teach) came by and brought balloons.  After that, Andrea and Andy came along with mom and dad and the girls.  Rue was very excited about seeing him, but she had a cough so we tried to keep her away as much as possible. 

It was nice to have them visit and share with us.  We had a good visit and then they headed home.  Mom stayed the night again at our home with the girls.  Keith ran home to help mom put the girls to bed and take a shower.  While he was out Brittany came over to visit.  I really felt so much better physically than I had with any of the girls.  I was surprised.  After Brittany left Keith and I snuggled on my bed with our baby and watched Thor. Random I know, but we had it with us and it was nice to relax while he ate.  As soon as he went to sleep though we did too.  I was pretty exhausted.  I woke up once to feed him around 12 or 1 and then I don’t remember hearing ANYTHING again until in the morning around 5.  They even came in and took Peter to do the PKU and I heard nothing.  Crazy.  In the morning we finished up the “to do” list to be discharged.  We were finally wheeled out around 11.  Mom had taken the girls over to be with Cary so she could get home.  We came home to a quite house.  We relaxed and finished Thor and slept.  It was nice to just relax with Peter a bit before the girls got home.  Sunday was my cousin Jacob’s homecoming.  My parents came out for it so afterwards they came and hung out at the house.  They watched the girls while we napped and played with them.  Mom helped me make some food for during the week.  It was just awesome.  The girls LOVED playing with Gramp.  Dad is usually at work when we go out so it was really special to have alone time with him.  He read books with the girls and drew pictures.  It was just a nice quiet afternoon.  Keith would be off for the next week or so and then it would just be adjustment time.  I was feeling good for the most part, but mom reminded me that even if I felt ok I shouldn’t be picking up Rue or doing to much.  I needed to stay down so my body could heal.  Good advice.  I felt good and wanted to recover quickly.  Monday I took Peter in for his first check up.  He was already back up just past his birth weight.  We set up to do his circumcision the next day.  It was a Tuesday.  We took the girls to my friend Michelle’s house.  I wanted Keith to go with me.  I’d gotten a little teary making the appointment, I didn’t want to go in for the procedure alone.  They took us back to the regular room and weighed him.  He’d gained three ounces since the day before.  They had us wait in the room while they took him.  Kristine Kaus was our doctor.  She was very kind and snuggled him.  It helped to have her be loving with him since I knew I wouldn’t be there for him.  They left and I sat there and cried for a bit.  I didn’t want to hear, but I kept listening to see if I could hear him.  Thankfully I never did.  They brought him back and he was chewing away on his binkie.  They told me to try and feed him and they’d come back and check on him in 10 minutes.  He didn’t eat great, but at least I could hold him and snuggle him.  They checked him and then gave us some directions and sent us on our way.  We picked up the girls and headed home.  With Ada being so nuts about injury or blood we decided NOT to change his diaper in front of them until it healed.  Keith had gone somewhere when I did the first change.  It was traumatic for me as he cried and flailed about, so we did it together the next few days.  I prefer the method of squeezing tons of Vaseline on a piece of gauze and putting that on.  Worked SO much better than when we tried to just squeeze Vaseline directly on it.  After a few days I was a pro at it alone.  I was usually the only one to get up at night.  There wasn’t much Keith could do.  Peter was still very consistent.  He woke up at 12 and 3 then at 6 was his “first” feeding.  He would eat and usually was good to go back to sleep.  I was definitely sleep deprived, but at least it was consistent.

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