Well, the first week was hard for me to recover physically and now I'm just trying to adjust to my new life. Honestly...things are going ok. I really have moments/days when I think "yeah, I'm doing this; I can handle things and have it normal." Then there are days Ada won't stop throwing tantrums when I just want to throw in the towel and run away. I guess, or at least I hope, all mothers feel that way at some point in their mothering days. LaRue's pregnancy was very hard for me emotionally and I was quite worried about having postpartum this time. My oldest sister called me a few days before LaRue was born and gave me some advice. I had asked her about possible natural remedies in case I had problems emotionally. She said she would look in to it, but that the best thing I can do it turn my problems and emotions over to my Heavenly Father. She said that if I'm having problems to pray, read scriptures and even get a blessing if needed. How silly I that I had not thought about that as my "medicine." It really stuck out to me. Not just doing my daily spiritual routine, but actually asking for help to deal with my emotions. It sounds so obvious, but I guess I just needed to hear and ponder it with a more open heart. I have been trying much harder to make sure that I set time aside for my reading and praying for help. Granted, I still have hard days...but that guidance is in the back of my mind and it has been helping me. I don't know if I've had severe postpartum, but a few days I have definitely felt out of control (maybe it was lack of sleep) with my emotions. I hate the feeling of being emotional and not able to stop crying...I hate crying!
Anyways, today during my ensign reading I came across an article about gratitude. Here are a few thoughts that stuck out to me:
"It is a challenge to count our blessings because we havev a tendency to take good things for granted...Our sorrows can make it hard to see our blessings and to appreciate the blessings God has in store for us in the future...We must ask in prayer that God, by the power of the Holy Ghost, will help us see our blessings clearly even in the midst of our trials...We can ask Him to help us see our Blessings more clearly, whatever our circumstances."
At the end there was a section for person reflection on areas to be grateful. I wanted to write this down to help ME see my blessings and feel gratitude for all I have.
1. 10 Physical abilities:
running, seeing, hearing, healthy organs, kisses, sleeping, talking, able to have a baby, eating, and hugs
2. 10 Material possessions:
home, car, oven, dishwasher, beds/blankets, clothes, tv system/entertainment, computer, glasses/contacts, baby swing
3. 10 Living people:
Keith, Ada, LaRue, Andrea (and fam), Mom/Dad, Mom/Dad Christian, siblings, VT, grandma/grandpa, Prophet/apostles
4. 10 Deceased people:
Nephi, Ammon, George Washington, Founding Fathers, Pres. Hinkley, N. Maxwell, Prophets, Nana, Gramp, ancestors
5. 10 things in nature:
grass, trees, rain, shade, flowers, sunshine (but not hot sun), gardens, breeze, animals, nature sounds, water
6. 10 things grateful for today:
sleep, LaRue/Ada, Keith, job, car works, food, vacuum, diaper study, mom home,
7. 10 places on earth grateful for:
home, Mesa temple, mountains, church building, Universities, parks, families' homes, grocery store, clothing stores, temple gounds
8. 10 modern inventions:
vacuum, microwave, computer, telephone, tv, oven, fridge, car, clocks, running water
9. 10 foods:
fruit, veggies, bread, ice cream, graham crackers, popcorn (all variations), chocolate (even though Rue doesn't seem to like it), soy milk, cereal, honey
10. 10 things about the gospel:
Atonement, Heavenly parents, Jesus Christ, prophets, prayer, priesthood, blessings, scriptures/ensign/lds.org, temple, Sacrament
Maybe this is too much information. But, I am grateful for these things. I really appreciate my sisters advice and that I do have the gospel to help me through more challenging times in my life. I really appreciated the article on gratitude and this chance to look at different areas in my life and find things to be grateful for. There are always things that I want or wish were different, but I have been so blessed...so blessed. I need to remember to focus on what I have and pray for gratitude in my life!